Friends are the family we choose for ourselves: Mich

Real LOVE gives you wings...

It must first be said that I was a very volatile girl when I was growing up, not unlike an active volcano. Having always been a passionate person, in my youth it was unbridled, raw and wild to say the least. I did not discover tact until much later in life and developed and acid tongue that burned whomever it set its sights on post offence. Yet I had a very gentle, very sweet nature and a heart big enough to love the world's 6 billion plus inhabitants, yet my fear of rejection and hurt shrouded it so well hardly anyone could see it nor understand me...que Mich.

Mich is one of my oldest (having just turned 30! lol) and dearest friends who entered my life at age 16, the beginning of Act 4, scene 1:the Falling in Love...being in Love stage. 

An aside: So that this makes sense I should say at this point that I view my life as a theatrical play with many players, scenes, themes, cliff hangers, laughter and tears. I like to think of the significant stages of my life as acts and scenes much like a Shakespearian play. 

You have heard of one meeting their match, but when I met Mich (pictured below at the 'tender' age of 17) I met someone more than my match...more than me and therein lay the challenge. I was determined to make our acquaintance short and sweet, preferring to surround myself with those who were not a threat or could be dominated so a strong, self assured arrogant boy was an ill fit in my already full on theatrical drama life I call, 'Just Rue'. I was however completely taken by that boy and rather than a brief and polite acquaintance, he became a co-writer in defining what love would mean to me and in my life hence forth...So just like that Act 3 ended and we began a journey together that is Act four; 'Falling in love...being in love' with its countless scenes. It must be said at this point that as in any great Shakespearian play, Act 4 had its many cliff hangers and laughs, cries and ended  in tragedy.

 But I am not going to tell you about that, this post is about the boy and what I learnt from him in the brief time we wrote Act 4 in the story of my life. Looking back Mich probably had not bargained for what he would get in me anymore than I had with him and so when he did fall in love, it was unrestrained, raw, honest and real. He threw his hat in the ring and like fools rush in, he dived head first. Being the more cynical one it took me a while to realise that my heart had betrayed me and ran away with his.

What Mich taught me throughout Act 4 is that love is a choice...an unconditional daily choice to be with and give yourself completely to the one your heart has chosen...He taught me that love has to begin with friendship, be based on truth and thrive through honesty and mutual respect. He taught me that love doesn't always say what you want to hear but it will always tell you the truth. That there is no fear in love and that you are enough...no need to change who you are bend over backwards, reinvent yourself to be loved, real love will find you as you are and love you unconditionally that way. You must understand that at the best of times I am not an easy person to love and at 16 I was impossible to love, get through to, understand but he persevered and his  prize was the best of me. In the end I was the victor with the greatest portion of the spoils in that not only have I known what it means and feels like to be really loved but I learnt how to love others that way. 

So today as I think about that boy who taught me how to love and accept myself. And to give of myself without counting the cost for the reward of loving is always greater than the pain of loss; I am grateful that he loved me once and that the friendship we forged then was genuine. So on this occasion of his 30th birthday, I thought it only fitting to celebrate my friend  by showing him some blog love right here! 

Happy Birthday Mich...see you at 40! :-)

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves: Miss Pam

In 2002 when I was reading Law in Bristol, I met a girl named Pam. I was in a computer lab probably doing research or emailing and this girl walks in and sits next to me. She started talking to me and asking me questions; where I was from, my name etc. Well it turned out that she, like myself, was from Zimbabwe. She was educated in the same city as I was, we were the same age and knew a lot of the same people. The story gets better! We had actually been to the same school dances and functions at the same time yet had not met until 3years after high school in Bristol, United Kingdom! Crazy I know, we became instant friends! And now we laugh and joke about the good old days even though we didn't exactly experience them together, it is really great. 

Furthermore, when I met Pam, I was at a place in my life where I had lost my way and was living a day at a time, I had not been in church for a few years and needed some direction. Don't get me wrong, the life plan was more or less on schedule, I was in Law School, well adjusted due to my parents excellent parenting skills but still there was something missing, que Pam. Pam had been a committed Christian for sometime before that day we met and I learned later that she approached me with the intention of sharing her faith with me.After a couple of conversations / meetings Pam invited me to church and I haven't looked back since. Sometimes all it takes for someone to realise their need for Christ is the kindness of a stranger or the gentle leading of a friend. It is after all through relationships and random acts of kindness that the gospel is spread and people are saved and established in their faith. 

Aside from the shared history we have since become really good friends and now have joint memories we both were in together eight years on which is wonderful! Today I celebrate her as its her birthday!!!! I wont tell you her age but I will tell you that this is no ordinary birthday but the very last birthday of her twenties :-) So as I have had the pleasure of watching her develop from an almost tomboyish jeans wearing and slightly odd girl into a beautiful, very successful, professional and incredible outgoing, fun and very well dressed lady. So on this very special day I want to give a special shout out to my lovely sister and friend, Miss Pam.

To join me in celebrating this beautiful lady, share your faith with someone, engage in a random act of kindness, befriend someone and show them some love and remember, be yourself, there is nothing more off putting than a bible basher or someone who seems to be in your life because they have an agenda. Like Pam just put yourself out there, find someone you can share and be available...there are a lot of lost or hurting people out there...Be the difference for them as Pam was for me!